Why So Many Singles in Church?

1. NO ‘SPACE’ FOR SINGLES TO MEET

Most churches don’t create spaces for their Singles to meet up and connect. I have attended many Single's Seminars and the teachings were great at developing and making the Single ready for marriage. However, it is very obvious that such meetings always left you unfulfilled as if something was missing. So you defined the godly man or godly woman that I should desire to marry. To date within the church and not to be unequally yoked. You taught me to be a Proverbs 31 woman or Ephesians 5 man, but where do I meet the right person?

2. HIGH PRESSURE ENVIRONMENT

If the church does make their Single's meet - most of the time it’s a in high pressure environment, with the Pastor or leader leading the match-making. If the Pastor is recommending Brother Michael, and I sincerely do not feel any attraction to him, it may be very hard to decline Pastor's recommendation due to respect for his/her spiritual authority over my life - so I will end up dating Brother Michael just to satisfy the Pastor. In some circles, its extreme - the Prophet straight out chooses who you should marry because they have "seen it in the spirit". Sadly, many Christians especially in Africa, have followed these prophetic instructions to their detriment and ended up in unfulfilling marriages, abusive relationships or even divorce.

3. YOU FEEL AWKWARD

Let's be honest it feels uncomfortable looking for “love” in the house of the Lord. It is quite distracting actually - your hands are lifted in worship to God and suddenly a good looking sister passes by... "How do I ask for her number?" "Is she single?" You can imagine how these thoughts running through your mind in the service may distract you from your praise and worship and learning the Word of God.

4. YOU THINK “DATING IS UNGODLY”

You associate “dating” with being in the world / carnally minded. As Christians we have been taught "courtship" is what we do as Christians - we don't date. Let's be honest there is nothing demonic or ungodly about dating - or how else would so many people in society be married today. Dating is neutral, you are the one to make it godly or ungodly with your actions. Just like marriage, both believers and non-believers engage in marriage but the marriage of two believers should never look like marriage of unbelievers. The purpose, intent, standards and outcome of dating in the world vs. the church is totally different. We will talk more about this in a different blog.

In conclusion, those are the 4 reasons there could be so many Single Adults in church. To meet Single Christian's like you who are ready to date the right way, in a structured session, sign up for our upcoming Single's events.