WHY CHRISTIAN DATING IS DIFFERENT?

1) Intent - To Glorify God & Marriage

In Christianity we date with intent - our intent is centered on glorifying God and we are clearly dating in pursuit for marriage, not just dating for personal satisfaction or because we feel attracted to someone.

1 Corinthians 10:31

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

2) Sex - Reserved for Marriage

The Bible is very clear that sex is supposed to happen between one man and one woman who are married to each other. That is the Biblical standard for sex and as Christians we do not engage any form of sexual activity until we say "I do".

Hebrews 13:4

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

3) Foundation - Faith & Obedience to God

We are a people of faith and seek to obey God in all that we do including in the dating season. Whatever we do, we do by faith and that includes how we date. Every individual we date should be someone we have prayed about to God, to get His guidance and only after getting God's approval should we date in faith. We rely on God to guide us in our dating journey. This prevents us from hurting others and even putting ourselves in positions to be hurt.

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

4) Standards - God Defined Holiness

God has called us to live holy lives that are pleasing to Him. The standard in the culture may be self-defined boundaries but God's children have very clear standards defined in God's Word. That means respecting one another's bodies, understanding his/her body is the temple of the Holy Spirit - that's God's property.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable,"

5) Purpose - Covenant & Unity

The purpose for Christian dating is for marriage. It's not about just companionship. It's definitely not centered on pleasure.

Genesis 2:24

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

6) Accountability - Transparency

A healthy Christian is securely planted in a local church and is submitted to godly authority. This doesn't mean you are controlled by the church but rather that you have other more mature Christians, who can disciple you in your journey of faith. What does this look like when you start dating someone? It may look different for each of us, but an example would be introducing this special person to your cell group leader or your mentors or pastors. They can give their thoughts about the person, especially if you are serious about this person. That is not to say they decide for you but they should be able to guide you and hold you accountable in how you date.

Proverbs 11:14

"Without guidance, a people will fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance."

7) Commitment - Faithful & Sacrificial

Cheating is a total deal breaker - it is simply not Christ-like. This is why you should only date one person at a time. You may be thinking, "but at your Speed Dating Events don't you encourage dating multiple people at the same time?" Absolutely not. In a Speed Dating Event, its a structured event that allows you to meet 5-10 other single Christians. You get to ask them questions about themselves - like what you would normally do if you meet this person at gym, or church, or the mall. After the event you get "matched" based on who you said you are interested to know better. Only after the Speed dating event and after talking to this person can you make a decision to date them. And if you do decide to date - remember to follow these guidelines - be committed to that one person.

Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her"

8) Decision-making - Prayer & Wisdom

So remember the intent and purpose of dating as a Christian? Read up...That means you cannot date forever, at some point you have to make a decision whether to move to engagement and marriage or end the dating relationship. How we make our decisions should be guided by God's Word and the Holy Spirit.

James 1:5

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

9) Outcome - Peace, Respect, Purpose

Every dating season has start date and an end date. We all hope it ends in marriage - if it is the right person. But even if it doesn't end up in marriage, we should take it as a learning experience. If ended correctly, it should be done with respect for the other individual - remember this is still your brother or sister in the Lord. Its possible to leave in peace - we should strive for that as believers. No one should come out of the relationship worse off.

Isaiah 32:17

"The work of righteousness will be peace, And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever."

Those are 9 ways that Christian Dating is different from how dating is done in the culture. Save this page so you remember these when you enter into a new dating relationship.